I took my dog out for a walk tonight. It was one of those few clear Florida evenings when the heavens were alight with stars, when light pollution, clouds and misty vapor hadn’t obfuscated the celestial imagery.
Looking up as we walked along, I was entranced as I normally am by the sublime beauty of what my eyes beheld. But behind my eyes, far deeper within me, my spirit was radiating with profound gratitude and joy.
I thought about how small we are, how infinitesimal all of this is; all of these things we encounter with regularity on this orb, how much happiness and love we are capable of creating and, sadly, how much pain and grief we can create as well. All of it, under those stars and constellations shining their light into a vastness of space unbeknownst of all the minute, petty problems we think are so god awfully important.
In the midst of this meditation, I thought of myself. I thought of my occasion ambivalence, my prolific, never ending thought cycles that seem to go nowhere, my failure to grasp everything, my imperfections and my strange and fleeting desire to be a repository of knowledge.
It occurred to me that soulful liberation, if such a thing is possible, may really just be a matter of giving up the need to be right or to prove anything; surrendering the need to be something or have a label.
Looking up, I simply felt as though I were consciousness and nothing more. That everything besides being an incarnation of consciousness was just an illusion.
What a transcendent and overwhelming sense of peace. For a moment, my mind was quiet, I let my fears go. I released my notions of self into the ether. Time both rushed by and stood still. Or, perhaps, there was no chronological meaning at all.
Being an insignificant dot might be the most significant thing we have to hold onto. Maybe it’s time to surrender being anything…and just be.