Chasing the Unattainable

What had I wanted so badly that I’d forgotten to live? What was so important that I willingly sacrificed my happiness for it? After sitting, after allowing my mind to sputter out its last drops of fuel and settle on the ground in stillness, the obsessive thoughts of past and present subsided. My incessant clinging to what may have been dissipated into the vapor of nothingness. I’d been in wild pursuit of something I could never attain. My reaching only created lacking. It took my eyes off of what I had; what I’d always had.


Like a calm and abiding flame, my gratitude grew within me, warming every dimension of my person, physically and spiritually. I was whole, savoring the simple abundance of being in whatever moment I was in. 

The chase had worn me out. It’d made me lose my faith. It’d made me focus on things that were not essentially real or true. The ego, clamorous and immature, echoing from the walls of my being, guided me to dissatisfaction. There was no signpost for my peace. No marker telling me where to go. Because I’d never left. I only thought I had.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Chasing the Unattainable

  1. This is such a powerful piece! Thank you for sharing your experience of regaining consciousness. There are so many distractions out there. It is refreshing to see by your example that what we need is right where we are.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s