We’ve all heard the phrase from Star Trek: resistance is futile. Little may we know that this quote could be the key to our ultimate happiness. Resistance against something that can be moved by your resistant force is one thing. You resist a closed door by applying force to open it. But it’s completely different when we begin to resist things that can’t be changed. Then we discover the problem.
If you push against a brick wall with your bare hands, the wall probably won’t fall or even budge a tiny bit. What’s most likely to happen is that you’ll end up with sore hands, aching back and exhausted. What had been accomplished? Nothing.
When we resist things we cannot change, the only thing that happens is that we hurt ourselves more. Because aspects of existence cannot be altered; it is what it is. I realize this sounds like giving up, but it’s far, far from it. The ability to accept and surrender to what is requires of us a supreme amount of strength. The difference between acceptance and ambivalence is that coming to terms with that which we cannot change means coming to terms with ourselves and the limits to the amount of struggle and suffering we will allow ourselves to experience.
And acceptance also involves removing ourselves from potentially harmful or actually harmful situations or from toxic people and relationships. The opposite would be to resist them by remaining subject to their toxicity by thinking we can affect change in them when we can’t.
The misconception of strength is that strength is often associated with doing something. Imagine if we truly embraced the power of doing nothing. It is a different kind of strength; the kind that keeps us upright and stable as the storms rage around us. It is the strength of remaining silent when our ego is threatened and we desire to express the thoughts that will only create more pain within us – the words that accomplish nothing.