This is one of the things I’ve wrestled with so much: on one hand, I was to withhold judgement from people and be accepting, but on the other hand, I really can’t deal with toxic people. What makes it even more of a conundrum is that toxic people, by and large, are the way they are because of things that have happened to them.
But life is finite and we only have so much time left on this planet. Should we allow toxic people into our lives? As far as we can send them love and kindness, yes. Keeping them close at hand just because we feel bad for building distance: no.
Complaining is the toxic person’s primary medium. Like an artist who uses clay or stone to sculpt or oil or watercolor to paint, the toxic person specializes in moaning laments. It is how they visualize the world around them and convey it to others. They have a deep and profound belief that the world is unfair and that they are at the short end of the proverbial stick in perpetuity. Complaining has an allure, though. Because when we are perpetually finding fault with things around us, we’re putting off addressing our own shortcomings and the other things we. We’d to work on within ourselves.
If you’ve spent much time around complainers, you’ll know how efficiently they can ruin everything. Just one complainer at a dinner or party can sour the entire occasion. The toxicity is infectious and viral. This is why you need to be extraordinarily cautious.
Don’t feel bad about keeping complainers at arms length…or further. Being a compassionate and accepting person doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to personalities that rob you of your joy. Even the most caring doctor takes precautions around patients who are highly infectious. How’s this any different?